Slade     <–This is a link to the recording. Spoken word improvised over creepy music with my buddy Scott. I had done cable for someone named “Slade Savage”, and he had offered me a piece of pizza during the job… I told him I’d have a piece after my work, but it took a while and I left without hearing about the pizza again… The name “Slade” seemed perfect for a Tsmarg Phaum.


Slade give me
A piece of that pizza

but Slade
You should have given it to me sooner…




Why did I?

Have to ask YOU
for a piece of that fucking pizza!

I shouldn’t have to ask you for a piece of your fucking pizza!



We are brothers
We share everything
And that’s why you should’nt be angry about Melissa

but Slade…


why dont you meet me at dominoes later

come on down to dominoes slade

I’ll give you a slice of something…
I’ll give you a slice of Melissa


I’m serious now
I didnt mean it
and I am sorry about Melissa
have you ever wondered about your mother and your father
and what they must have been thinking when they named you slade

I dont think about shit like that anymore
cuz you didnt give me a pice of your fucking pizza

I’m taking Melissa back to the cuttingboard
and I am going to offer you up a slice of your thigh
and I’m going to mail your head to your mother

slade slade

and I’m going to mail her hands and feet to your father


You should have given me a piece of that fucking pizza.


Tsmarg Phaum: William






Meet me by the barn.

We’ve got to bury something together.


Get a note from your doctor if you must…but meet me by the barn William.

We’ve got to bury something together.



Bring your cousin!

I’ve got to talk with your cousin too William.


But guarantee me that you’ll leave Laura home…

Tell her you’ll be back in time for dinner

But leave Laura at home William… meet me by the barn tonight… and bring your cousin with you.

Did you get that William!?


By the fucking barn.

We’ve got to bury something, and I need you to bring your cousin with you, but leave Laura home,

Leave Laura home all alone.

And tell her you’ll be back in time for supper.



Please tell me you have a good answer William.

What were you doing at my house while I was at work?

Why was your cousin parked outside William?

Look around you William.

There’s no 911 out here at the barn William.

You lose it here, you’re in a world of hurt.

William, I’m going to cut your name in two.


William’s Cousin. Bring me that shovel. We’ve got to bury what’s left of William…

And if you don’t help me.

I’ll bury both of you fuckers myself.


What’s that you said?

What about Laura?

Well my cousin is at William’s house right fucking now… and cousin, we’re gonna take a drive.

Bury William

Near the barn

And take a ride with me to William’s house.

I’m going to show you what I’m doing to Laura.






…try to tell them, but they can’t save you.

‘Cuz they think you’re a fuckjob.

‘Cuz you are a fuckjob.

And you aint’ worth killin’




It’s done.

Put down some blankets and we’ll have a fucking picnic.

But wait a few years(?) before we claim that life insurance Laura,

Don’t you watch Crime Shows?


….”Where is William Buried?”

I don’t want to tell you.

You must remain innocent.