Love. It manufactures vehicles for Subaru.




Subaru has a commercial where a guy shows up at his vacation home…. in a Subaru, and a little chocolate lab puppy jumps down out of the back seat and the guy chucks a ball and the dog is all happy and there is sun stabbing down through the lavish trees in just the right spots.

Then it leaps ahead a few years, using a bit of facial hair and some carefully chosen clothing to make the guy look like he’s about a decade forward. He has a chick with him this time, they smooch, and a  chocolate lab pops up and jumps out the back door. Same Subaru.

Then…it fucking…leaps another decade ahead. There’s a baby in the back seat, dude is dressed in Corporate Wear, his hair and shit is all ‘distinguished’ looking, the chick is still there, still lovely, and then an old chocolate lab hefts itself up and peeks over the back seat next to the baby, from the amazingly roomy hatchback going on in this timeless ass Subaru. THIS time when it cuts to the wide shot…you begin to understand that you can mount a fucking luggage rack on top of this fucker…but holy shit, there’s the same-ass Subaru, possibly decades down the road… Dude pauses to help the old dog out of the stalwart-ass auto…and the dad stops…with his lovely wife and their toddler bounding out in the carefully sunlit grass…and turns to look gravely at that fucking Subaru, the Subaru that saw it all… The Subaru that made it all possible. And the whole time there’s this sample from a piercing ass tune that sounds like ‘Life’.

I think that commercial kicks serious ass.

I got all fucked up and emotional about it over the past winter. I’d go catatonic when it came on, like the Desperado-Guy in that one Seinfeld episode. I’d be storming past the TV acting all focused and ninja, then I’d hear the opening twangs of that crazily sentimental little tune, snap to attention, and stare at the damned TV immediately, taking great care to force that single…”This guy is a Granite Statue” tear out the corner of my eye, and I’d snap out of it afterward and continue on.

When we moved in, the neighbors two houses to our right had a little Lab Puppy. I remember it ran over with its owner chasing, and I said “That’s adorable!” accidentally. Dude grunted and mumbled an apology and he never reappeared, I just see his angry pickup truck going in and out all recklessly… but the fucking puppy was cute, dammit.

So I went out on the porch just now, sat in the chair out there, and the sun was stabbing down through our mediocre tree in some spots…and I saw this fully grown Lab come confidently jogging out to their front yard and piss on their tree.

It’s like living here boiled all of the Subaru out of that commercial and revealed to me what the commercial was really saying.

Get a vacation home, grow a puppy, kiss someone, maybe procreate…but always run around chucking balls in the Sun!…


It’s what makes a Subaru a Subaru.


And here is a link to the fucking commercial, ‘case ya’ aint’ seen’ dat’ cah-mershal’ :






Albert’s Try, and Shatner’s Xmas Present


There was a scaffold going up the side of Albert’s Try, at its base there was a pile of wood, and some garbage.

Albert had long ago given up on finishing the house.

Albert had given long ago a speech about finishing the house though…

Albert found he did not do well at building, and after spending all he had on one very very hard try, Albert walked off in ruin, and left a ruin, because of his Great Try.

Nobody worked at his try afterward either, except one crew that took it all away and made it a “Lawn” for sale, and another crew who demanded payment for his squander.

“The Buffalo. I just want to ask them about the Buffalo” he said.

And that was all he ever said when quizzed about his Try.